At the end of myself....

It's been almost a month.... I haven't written any blog posts in almost over a month. I haven't even really tried.

I'm really sad. I can't put my finger on it but something just makes me really sad. I think I have finally reached the end of myself and what I can do. I love being strong - I love independence doing what I want to do when I want to do it. I love making decisions (right now my friends are shaking their heads) I love being in charge of projects and getting things done. I love making new friends and being outgoing and lathering on charm. But lately I don't do any of those things. It's really hard. I find myself wanting to sleep more than anything and joy is somewhere I can't find. I've finally reached the point where I know without a shadow of a doubt I can't do anything... I'm at the end of me.

But I guess that's a good place to be. Because where I end - He begins. Where I am incomplete - He is complete. Where I am a MASSIVE FAILURE - He is a HUGE SUCCESS. I don't know why this is happening or the purpose behind it. I don't understand but I know he does. So I have to choose to trust him. To believe that when he says everything is going to be okay - it will be. I have to choose to follow him despite what I am feeling. At the end of myself - that's where I find Jesus.