He Calls Me Jewel: Chapter 2 & 3

Chapter 2

I stare with mouth gaping at the large hole in the wall. I’m mesmerized by the sight of the huge doors swung open revealing the outside world. A world I have never seen before. It doesn’t look menacing like my father would have us believe. He told me that everything on the other side is dead and dry, with zombies who roam and moan.

But it isn’t like that.

In the darkness, I can see the path leading away from Legalism. The grass looks greener with colorful tiny dots that look like flowers. Lush trees line the edge of the path and I see what I think are mountain peaks white with snow. The moonlight paints this pretty picture with a soft glow. Like a gentle voice, it calls to me, sweetly entreating me to come. I want to explore this place that has been cut off to me for so many years. I start forward when Comfort grabs my arm.

“Worthless! What are you doing?”

“I just want to see what’s out there,” I say pulling my arm from his grasp, “Aren’t you the least bit curious?”

I look over my shoulder at his wide eyes. He looks behind us to the flickering light of town. I follow his gaze and make out the dancing shadows of people.

“Everyone is busy. Once they find out the gate is open they will go ballistic! It’s our only chance!” I exclaim as I start toward the gate again. 

This time he mutely follows me. I hear a slight mutter that sounds like “I hope Fear stays at the fire.” I hope so too but I don’t let that stop me. Something is drawing me to the exit. Something calls my name from the other side. The sensation is so strong I must go, I just don't know why.

We are about 100 yards from the entrance when something shifts just outside of it. I freeze in my spot. Comfort bumps into my back pushing me forward another yard. I squint in the low light trying to figure out what it is. It shifts again, and I recognize the movements of arms and legs.

It’s a human.

Terror strangles me as I try to make a sound to warn Comfort. It must be the zombies! My brain screams as I back up into Comfort. I feel him look over my shoulder and all his muscles tense.

The figure continues to get closer.

I bite my tongue and curse my feet for being glued to the floor. I want to leave but I feel Comfort shifting forward. He moves around my stationary form and takes a step in the direction of the silhouette.

“Comfort!” I hiss through gritted teeth.

Comfort's head turns back to me, he whispers, “I think I know who it is." 

 How in the world does Comfort know this lurking form? I stare at his back with wild eyes and watch as he walks boldly toward it.

“Identify yourself.” It’s Comfort’s voice but with so much confidence I almost don’t recognize it.

“Comfort? Is that you?” It’s a man’s voice that calls from the darkness.

The tension releases from Comfort's shoulders and he starts running. I stand stunned as I watch my best friend embrace the dark form standing at the entrance. Both men exclaim joyously at the reunion. I hear rapid-fire questions asked by Comfort and answers given by the stranger just as fast.

I stand bewildered at the change in events. How does Comfort know this man? I feel my feet inching away from the meeting toward the village. Maybe if I remain still they will forget I am watching. I bump into something solid. I shriek right before a hand is placed over my mouth.

“Quiet girl.”

I would know Self-Hate’s voice anywhere. He and I became friends when I started working for Self-Righteousness. I pass him daily on the way to work and he always has a bit of news or gossip to share.

I swallow hard, “You scared me! Why would you sneak up on me like that?!”

Self-Hate removes his hand from my mouth and motions to the continued greeting before us. “I was watching you and Comfort. I never trusted him – not for a second. I wasn’t going to let you two out of my sight especially when he started to lead you to the gate’s entrance. Now that he is interacting with someone from the outside. I know I was right to keep an eye on you.”

I look up at him and pat his arm, “You know that Comfort wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. He’s very good to me.”

Self-Hate grunts in response and doesn’t take his eyes off the two in front of us. I look over his shoulder and see hordes of people are drawing closer, with my father at the head.

I’m terrified.

Self-Hate pats my hand, “I sent Condemnation to get your father when we saw the man entering. I can’t imagine this stranger is here on peaceable terms.”

My eyes travel from Self-Hate to the stranger. I can’t see much about him but it looks like he’s smiling at Comfort. How could someone who knows and loves Comfort want anything but peace?

I see my father’s eyes land on me but before he can react Pride points out the stranger ahead of us. His glare as he passes me tells me that there will be more than words when we get home. His eyes would light me on fire if I stood under them long enough. I shrink trying to hide among the crowd.

“Comfort!” My father’s voice booms and even the drunks keep quiet.

I want to see what is going on. I stand on my tiptoes but the man in front of me is too large. I try looking around him but there are too many people. Finally, I can't stand it any longer. I remove myself from Self-Hate's side and push past the onlookers until I reach the edge of the circle. I see a laughing Comfort come up to the semi-circle dragging the stranger by the wrist.

“Fear! I’m so glad you came!” His joyous laughter takes my father off guard. Fear doesn’t respond giving Comfort time to explain. “This is my dear friend, Servant! I knew him when I was a boy. You remember? I told you about him before. He was finally able to come to Legalism! I still can't believe he is here!”

I stare at the stranger identified as Servant. He is tall and by the light of the torches, I can see his dark hair and blue eyes. His face and hair are slightly unkept like he’s been journeying for a long time. His clothes are fine with touches of blue, scarlet and gold. Like royalty. Right now, he is smiling looking from Comfort to Fear unfazed by the reception.

His eyes drift around the circle and I can’t help but stare at him. Servant is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. He isn’t attractive like Lust is but there is something about him. He seems to glow from within. I’m drawn to it. I'm drawn to him.

His eyes lock with mine.

I can't look away. His eyes seem to soften when they see me. I’m confused. Why does he look at me like he can’t stop staring? Like I’m the only one worth looking at? I break our gaze and stare at the floor.

When I peek up again I realize that I’m not the only one who noticed his attention toward me. My father's eyes shift between me and Servant. The fire ignites his black orbs and I fear he will do something violent.

“I don’t remember, Comfort! You can’t be putting words into my mouth! I never said he was welcome to come here! And who opened the blasted gate?!” All the people inch away from Fear as he yells the last couple of words.

Silence follows.

As Fear turns around the circle I see people bow their heads. No one will look him in the eye. When his eyes land on me Fear points, “Worthless, go home.”

It’s a low growled command – one I know I should obey. But why should I have to leave when everyone else gets to stay? “But-” I start but he cuts me off by yelling.

“Pride! Take this disobedient worthless girl home!”

I feel hands wrap around my waist. I struggle against his strong arms, but Pride pinches me in my stomach. I yelp and stop wrestling. Comfort has a frown on his face and Servant takes a step forward. With Pride’s arms securely around me, Fear turns his attention back to the confrontation.

Pride pulls me backward as my father begins to yell again. Soon I lose sight of Comfort, as I am drug back into the city. The indistinct sound of Fear yelling follows me long after I have left the crowd.

When we pass the outer ring of buildings, I elbow Pride in the chest, “Let me go Pride. I’ll walk there. You don’t have to squeeze me to death.”

Grunting he puts me down but latches onto my wrist, “I can’t afford you running away from me girl.”

I roll my eyes and bite my tongue I have no respect for Pride. I follow him silently down the main street. We pass the burning fire and enter the large alley to my house. The imposing structure in front of us is the only house with a second story. The white paint has lost its brightness years before I was even born, and the railings are in deep need of cleaning. The inside is about the same.

I stomp up the steps to the porch when Pride rips open the door and throws me inside. I stumble forward landing on my hands and knees. My head snaps back to the door and I see his evil grin as he slams it shut. That was for the scene earlier, I think. I hear a chair scrape across the porch and settle in front of the door. No doubt he is sitting guard, so I don't escape. Like I would try when Fear told me to stay.

I roll my eyes as I crawl toward the staircase in the darkness and sit down. It’s cold in our house, but I feel warm all over as I think about Servant and the way he looked at me.

“Like I was worth looking at…” I whisper to myself. I shake my head standing and walk up the stairs to my room, "No… that’s silly."

Chapter 3

A searing pain shoots through my head as I am jolted awake in the middle of the night. I scream and hear a vicious laugh in return. I reach up and feel a large hand latched onto my hair. I pull myself up trying to relieve some of the pressure.

I can’t breathe.

The anger rolling off my attacker is palpable. I immediately know who it is. Fear. My heart stops as his hand comes down hard across my face once, twice, three times.

“You think you can make a fool out of me, girl?” he slurs and I know he’s had too much to drink. I whimper but it makes him livid because he slaps me again, “Do you?!”

I shake my head, “No father!”

He growls. I am ripped from my bed and thrown across the room. My body slams into the wall with a deafening thud.

“Don’t call me that! You know you aren’t my daughter!”

Obscenities about me and my mother fly out of his mouth quickly cutting through me. I don’t take the time to survey my wounds. I have to escape him! I try crawling away, but he lunges forward and grabs my ankle.

“No Fear! Please!” I scream as I am dragged out of my room.

Frantically I try grabbing onto the doorway. It only serves to enhance his fury. Biting pain crawls up my leg and I let go. Darkness envelops me as I am pulled through the hallway and down the stairs. I hit my head several times as he rips me through the house.

Tears sting my eyes and I can’t see. I hear the front door open and slam against the wall. He throws my feet outside and I scramble away from him.

Fear stalks toward me yelling, “I take you in and give you clothing! I give you a name and you repay me by opening the gate!”He punches me in my stomach and I can’t breathe. I gasp for air and shake my head.

“Are you calling me a liar!?”

Trembling my eyes grow wider as he raises his arm. I close my eyes and brace for the impact of his fist. It comes down hard in my abdomen I hear a crack. Pain vibrates through my lungs.

I lay limp too injured to move. I guess it isn’t fun to beat someone who is unconscious because he slams the door and I hear the lock click in place. His footsteps travel up the steps and fade into the distance.

I curl up into a ball trying to protect myself from any more invisible blows that might come. Tears stream down my face as I take inventory of all the pain I have ricocheting through my body. Sobs pour from my lips and I moan from the pain.

I don’t move. I can’t.

I lay there unable to sleep as the night wears on. The cool night air pushes through my thin nightgown and I shiver. My tears have dried, but I can’t help myself from moaning when the pain is too much.

This has happened before. Too many times. Fear always takes his anger out on me. I remember Fear hitting me when I was little. My mother always tried to stop him.

I see her standing in front of me as Fear, wild with rage comes charging at her. Her head slams against the wall and blood pours from her forehead. I scream and cover my mouth when she doesn’t move. Even that didn’t stop Fear from sending me flying.

I blink away the memory.

When I started spending time with Comfort, he told me that Comfort was a liar and he just wanted to sleep with me. I couldn’t believe that though. Not when Comfort was so respectful and kind to me. He is the only man in the city who takes care of me.

Some months ago, someone saw us together and told Fear lies. Fear didn’t know that I was with Comfort that day. He can’t stand being made a fool. When I came home he yelled and beat me. 

Tonight, was different though.  More intense.

The darkness starts to fade and I see the streets are littered with bodies. People are sleeping everywhere. It’s a miracle Fear didn’t wake up the entire neighborhood with his yelling last night.

Maybe they did wake up and didn’t come because they knew he’d hurt them too. I hate the thought because it’s probably true. It’s better for one to suffer than for all. But I hate that thought too.

“Why does it have to be me?” I whisper to nobody as I watch the sun rise over the houses. Anytime anyone made Fear angry I was the target.

People start to stir, wobbly walking back to their homes. Tears start to fall down my face again. I try to keep my breathing in check so my lungs won’t hurt. I feel as though some of my ribs are cracked.

Soft footsteps draw my attention to the other side of the porch. I see Self-Pity as she comes up the steps. I turn my head away from her as she begins to whisper to me.

“Oh, Worthless…” her voice is so soft and gentle it makes me cry, “You are always the one picked on, aren’t you?” She leans down and strokes my hair as I nod and sniff back tears. Self-Pity looks across the yard to all the people, “None of those people even know what you’ve been through. Oh, I hate them for it! They didn’t help you even when Fear was yelling so loudly! You’re right to cry Worthless.”

I agree with her but something about what she says sounds off. How did she know that Fear was yelling?

She keeps going, “I’ll go get someone to help you!”

Self-Pity springs up and I watch her dart down the street. I manage to roll onto my back and I stare at the porch roof. I close my eyes.

Immediately I see Fear’s dark face in the middle of the night glaring at me. I cringe and my eyes open. I can’t get the image out of my brain. His dark looming figure as it pulls me down the stairs and slaps my face.

Then I think of another face. One I’ve seen only once before. I close my eyes again and focus on the new face. Servant.

I see his blue eyes as they lock on mine and how they seem to smile. I think of how his lips pulled into a wider smile as he continued to look at me, gently communicating the words my soul longs for. Valuable, beautiful, worth. I replay his look repeatedly in my mind and my heart starts to feel lighter. Somehow thinking of him makes some of the pain go away.

Then I hear heavy footsteps coming toward me and I open my eyes. Turning my head I see Bitterness roll up her sleeves. She kneels next to me and I see Self-Pity behind her. Grunting she pushes her greasy gray hair behind her scarf before inspecting my wounds. Her wrinkly hands feel all my bones and prod my tender skin. Any place I scream out she nods.

Self-Pity sticks her head over Bitterness’s shoulder. Bitterness grunts at Self-Pity who hands her a bowl filled with a foul stench. Her thick hand goes into the goo and pulls out a sticky black mixture that she places on my bruises. The smell makes my stomach churn and eyes water.

Grumbling again Bitterness lifts my stomach and I moan. She binds my ribs with dirty rags pulling so tight it squeezes tears out of my eyes.

When she is done I’m able to at least sit up. Bitterness doesn’t say another word, silently she gets up and walks away. I sigh as I watch Bitterness and Pity make their way across the square again.

Then I see a figure I know very well darting toward me. His bright blond hair and smile give him away.

“Worthless!”

Comfort waves frantically at me as I stare at him. I don’t think I can move let alone put up with Comfort’s cheery ways today. I groan and try to stand.

I make it on all fours before the pain makes it impossible to move. I can still hear him approaching so I try to hide it. Comfort is beside me before I can make any additional effort to stand up.

“Did Pride just dump you on the porch last night?” He shakes his head as he helps me to stand, “I’d think Fear would have wanted him to deposit you inside the house.”

My deep groan makes him stop talking and I can feel him staring at me. I don’t look at his face. I know he is able to see that more went on last night than the fact that Pride took me home. I don’t want to talk about it though. I close my eyes and lean against the porch railing. Comfort is still silent.

“I don’t want to talk about it Comfort.”

I peak through my eyelid and I see him nod as he looks down. Several moments of silence pass between us before he speaks again. “Let me carry you to my house so you can rest on my bed.”

I shoot him a look that clearly tells him I think he’s crazy. He puts his hands up, “You know that everyone is still recovering from the festivities and excitement last night. No one will know. At least you’ll be able to rest somewhere safe.”

I hesitate before I accept. If my father finds out where I am I know I will be beaten again. But the idea of staying here is unbearable, so I nod.