Night time thoughts.....

Its really late and I have to get up super early tomorrow to work... But I have thoughts that won't go away until they are expressed.  So here you go world! My nighttime thoughts......

I am valuable.

"What? That's what's keeping you awake?" Yep. Do you want to know why? Because I never believed it before. I never saw myself as someone who was worth loving. I never saw myself as someone worth notice or time. I saw myself as worthless. No matter how many times Jesus would tell me that I was special to him or that I had value..  I didn't believe it. Not at all.

Tonight I do.

Because I realized for the first time in my life that if I didn't work in ministry, if I didn't try to be kind to people, if I didn't volunteer and give - I still have value. Why?

Because of Jesus.

Because of his blood suddenly my worthless life has meaning and real value. It has purpose and I am priceless because of it. His life makes my hopeless existence worth.... Everything. Because he loves me I have value. True value. Because he purchased my value on the cross.

It makes me sad.

Because I never believed it before. I never could see how ANYONE - let alone a King - could value me. Because I lived an existence trying to prove my worth when it was already paid in full for me on the cross. Because I was trying to buy something that has already been bought.

I am valuable.

If for no other reason, simply because I am His.