Remodeling Me
My whole life I have been building. Building hopes and dreams. Building what I believe. Shaping the person I am by my experiences and circumstances. Imagine with me, if you will, that my heart is like a very small house.
I know where everything is. I know that in the kitchen you will find what I like to eat the most, how food is something that I crave.... In the living room you will find my hopes and dreams for a family, my parents and my siblings people that I love.... Each room has a purpose and a place. Everything has an area and my whole life I have been working to keep it this way.
Then Jesus shows up.
And when he shows up things start to change just because he is there. I start to notice how the cabinets bow and the floor has large stains on it. I notice how run down the wallpaper is. I notice everything differently because he is here. My first thought is "I need to throw him out!" - wouldn't the correct thought be, "Wow... I should really change some of these things...." Because my heart despises change. It loathes it. Especially when he comes in and he says,
"I think we should take down this wall..."
WHAT? A WHOLE WALL? But that's what he wants to do. He wants to expand and grow the rooms of my heart. He wants to change me from the inside out. But I've put thought and planning into each wall and the decorations on the wall.... I've built this up. Then he starts to take down walls - and it hurts.
Remodeling hurts.
Because it is changing who I am and what I believe - because when I let him into my heart - nothing can stay the same. Things have to change. But that doesn't mean it's easy. Or a walk in the park. No. It's hard - it's painful. But I know from past experience that it's good, It's hard to see what he's doing when all I can feel is the pain of it.
Right now Jesus is remodeling me.
And it hurts. It's painful to accept the way that He wants me to change and be. How He is trying to grow me. I'm being stretched at home to uncomfortable limits, in my patience and trust in him. I'm being stretched at work, Jesus pulling me further outside of my comfort zone than ever before and showing up. It's amazing. I'm already starting to see... I'm already starting to see how this remodeling is going to look. It's going to be AWESOME! But it still really hurts. It's still really uncomfortable. And I really just want it to all disappear.
But.... I will wait on Him as He remodels me.
I know where everything is. I know that in the kitchen you will find what I like to eat the most, how food is something that I crave.... In the living room you will find my hopes and dreams for a family, my parents and my siblings people that I love.... Each room has a purpose and a place. Everything has an area and my whole life I have been working to keep it this way.
Then Jesus shows up.
And when he shows up things start to change just because he is there. I start to notice how the cabinets bow and the floor has large stains on it. I notice how run down the wallpaper is. I notice everything differently because he is here. My first thought is "I need to throw him out!" - wouldn't the correct thought be, "Wow... I should really change some of these things...." Because my heart despises change. It loathes it. Especially when he comes in and he says,
"I think we should take down this wall..."
WHAT? A WHOLE WALL? But that's what he wants to do. He wants to expand and grow the rooms of my heart. He wants to change me from the inside out. But I've put thought and planning into each wall and the decorations on the wall.... I've built this up. Then he starts to take down walls - and it hurts.
Remodeling hurts.
Because it is changing who I am and what I believe - because when I let him into my heart - nothing can stay the same. Things have to change. But that doesn't mean it's easy. Or a walk in the park. No. It's hard - it's painful. But I know from past experience that it's good, It's hard to see what he's doing when all I can feel is the pain of it.
Right now Jesus is remodeling me.
And it hurts. It's painful to accept the way that He wants me to change and be. How He is trying to grow me. I'm being stretched at home to uncomfortable limits, in my patience and trust in him. I'm being stretched at work, Jesus pulling me further outside of my comfort zone than ever before and showing up. It's amazing. I'm already starting to see... I'm already starting to see how this remodeling is going to look. It's going to be AWESOME! But it still really hurts. It's still really uncomfortable. And I really just want it to all disappear.
But.... I will wait on Him as He remodels me.
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