Annoying beeping

My car is so helpful. It lets me know in the most annoying way that my door is open. A loud, screeching beep that permeates all my thoughts. I can't do anything until I shut the door because my mind is so bothered by the sound.

Sometimes I feel like that's the way I am with God. I'm a complainer. What can I say? I am very good at it. I've had years of experience and when things don't go my way it's almost like my flesh is saying, "That's our cue!! Places!!"

Most of the time I don't catch it until after I've started. Then I realize, I'm doing it again!

Its easy to praise God when everything is easy. Its easy to love God when everything is good. Its fun to be a Christian when he is speaking and moving and doing things.

But as soon as it gets hard...

I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to complain. I become that annoying beeping in Gods ear. Almost as if to say, "Did you hear me? Did you hear me God? I'm not happy! I just want to make sure you understand that I'm not happy right now." Or to reiterate things I've already given over to him. Well if I'm still bringing it up, I don't think I've let it go.

He is continually working on me. Making me more like Jesus. Which makes me SO HAPPY! I'm so glad I don't have to stay the same. I'm so happy that he calls me and chooses me. So happy.

I'm also really thankful that God doesn't just shut the door to shut me up. He could, you know? Just shut me down completely... And sometimes he does. But most of the time he is so loving. His voice gently stills my heart and I calm down. Its amazing.