Lay aside every weight

Today I spent the day with a really good friend of mine! I love her with all my heart and it was so good to spend time with her. As the day progressed I realized I was not acting like myself (mostly because I am sad about moving and the other crazy changes that are happening to me this weekend.). Instead of telling her what was wrong, I preceded to just act like everything was OK, when I knew it wasn't.

Tonight as I was sitting in bed, I wondered "How many times have I kept something from God because I thought I could handle it on my own? Or I thought he wouldn't notice I was hurting? Like I could get away with it or something." The answer is a lot of times I have done this. I carry a burden that I was never meant to carry alone and I put on a show for everyone hiding what is inside, because I want to look like I can handle it on my own. I guess to prove that I am strong enough.

The really sad thing is I'm not. I am not strong enough to figure out my own problems or deal with them correctly. Sigh. I am not strong enough to deal with pain or sadness. I need Jesus very desperately, but sometimes I don't come to him until I am broken by the weight and need fixing. But I need to come to Him now! Before I even start to carry this heavy burden because He cares for me. My verses for 2014 is Hebrews 12:1-2, which says:
"Therefore since we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses let us also lay aside every weight and sin that clings so closely, and let us RUN with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."
Emphasis added by me :)
That's what he wants me to do. To lay aside everything that weighs on my heart. To give it to Him so He can deal with it all. Because the truth is that He is strong enough to handle it. He can take care of every doubt, every fear, every pain that I might have. My burden can't break me if I let the Lord carry it. That's the way it is supposed to be.

Tonight I emailed my friend and asked her forgiveness because I should have shared my burden with her. That's what good friends are for :) She is a great friend, I know I can trust her and I know she cares about me.

I can also trust my heavenly friend, who is much stronger than me. He can carry any burden that I have and I know that He cares for me.