A little mess......

September 02, 2015

A little mess......

I am currently writing from my room which is full of boxes - FULL. On every side I am surrounded by constant reminders that I have yet to organize my life. It's only been three days - but honestly those days have been some of the longest days of my life. Let me paint you a picture.

I had every intention of completely changing my life when I moved. New hair, new job, new room, new schedule, new exercising, new everything. I was going to be the motivated Charissa I have always dreamed of being - proving to everyone that I am not the same little girl who left almost two years ago. My expectations of getting my life together was REALLY high. I was thinking I would be working on my room for three maybe four days tops. Then I would start implementing all the wonderful habits that I have yet to do - like eating right and excising. So I moved with my head full of dreams of how beautiful and rosy life is going to be.....

I have spent the last 72 hours eating, sleeping and watching TV. (Yes Valeska, I was watching New Girl... lol)

More than once in that time I have asked myself "What are you doing with your life Charissa? Get UP!" But my head hurts constantly, I haven't been sleeping very good at night and I really, really like New Girl.... hahaha Oh I am so pathetic. The fact that the boxes that I have brought from Orlando fill my ENTIRE room overwhelms me. Completely. I have had exactly two panic attacks and three major meltdowns, complete with crying, hiding under my blanket and rocking back and forth.

I am finally at the end of me.

And honestly I don't know what to do. I'm confused by everything that I have to do and overwhelmed by the rest. I just want to give up and lie on bed and sleep until everything alines in the universe that brings me back to normal - but I can't wait for that.

I guess I really just need Jesus. I really need him so much more than ever before. So pray for me :) My life is a little mess right now....