The end of the CRAZY!
Last week I left my medicine in Orlando. To any normal human being this would be fine but for someone who is struggling with depression it is the worst. I had no way of getting it any sooner than it came. The extensive list of side effects is overwhelming, but I didn't even think about it.
Last week was one of the worst weeks of my life. After not having the medicine in me for 24 hours I had 3 panic attacks, 2 fits of extreme crying and loneliness (even though my house is full of people), my head would do this popping thing where it would feel like someone had aluminum pressed up against my head and they continually rubbed it up and down. Some mornings I couldn't get out of bed because of how nauseous I was feeling and I couldn't sleep at night and during the day I would have such vivid dreams that I would start awake. I was exhausted, sick, and altogether not a happy camper. The only thing was I didn't realize that it was my body detoxing from the meds. CRAZY!
I've made a decision not to go back on - and even though I might have some irrational crying now and again I'm praying that Jesus will help me to get better. I know he will... and honestly I don't feel depressed. I'm really happy and it's not because I am on a pill that makes me that way. I have purpose in my life and it isn't because I am highly medicated. I am excited about life - just because my Jesus is so good! I just didn't understand what he was doing when he took it away from me... Thanks Jesus! I'm so glad I'm at the end of the crazy. :)
Last week was one of the worst weeks of my life. After not having the medicine in me for 24 hours I had 3 panic attacks, 2 fits of extreme crying and loneliness (even though my house is full of people), my head would do this popping thing where it would feel like someone had aluminum pressed up against my head and they continually rubbed it up and down. Some mornings I couldn't get out of bed because of how nauseous I was feeling and I couldn't sleep at night and during the day I would have such vivid dreams that I would start awake. I was exhausted, sick, and altogether not a happy camper. The only thing was I didn't realize that it was my body detoxing from the meds. CRAZY!
I've made a decision not to go back on - and even though I might have some irrational crying now and again I'm praying that Jesus will help me to get better. I know he will... and honestly I don't feel depressed. I'm really happy and it's not because I am on a pill that makes me that way. I have purpose in my life and it isn't because I am highly medicated. I am excited about life - just because my Jesus is so good! I just didn't understand what he was doing when he took it away from me... Thanks Jesus! I'm so glad I'm at the end of the crazy. :)
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