If I trust Him... He'll make a way, he always does.
Who doesn't like to get mail? Everyone! Especially this girl :) So naturally this morning when I looked in the mailbox and saw a letter addressed to me I was so excited! Sure it was from the doctor but that little detail didn't phase my excitement - until I opened it....
INSURANCE DENIED.
Wow...
That is a lovely thing to see right in the morning. Needless to say I was panicked by the amount owed and honestly I have never had to deal with anything like this before. (Thank goodness it was only for the last two doctor visits and not the entire time that I have gone - that would have been an astronomical amount of money that I don't have. Haha. My life people... *facepalm* Okay this one is on me though because yesterday I was thinking "Wow! my life is so calm! No major catastrophe has happened lately..." I was just due for something to come up. haha.)
Immediately as I read those words it was like the Holy Spirit whispered to me "Do you trust me?" - my response was probably not the best "Yes! What else can I do?" Then this question hit me, if there was another option would I trust God? and I think that the answer is no.
Isn't that sad?! I prance around saying all the time "I trust you God! I trust you!" But when it really comes down to the moments in life where our trust in God is put to the test - I would rather do what I can do in my limited human ability than trust God. That thought makes me sad, because I don't want to be like that. I want to trust God with everything - to give him my whole life and never pick it up again -but I can't.
In my limited ability I am unable to trust the God that I love. uh. I feel like someone punched me in the stomach. If I could have anything - or do anything, what I would want is to be perfect. That I could walk in a way that always pleased the Lord and that I could constantly do what is right. Because I am constantly reminded about my frailty and my inability to do anything good or right. Ah!!! It just makes me crazy sometimes!
I'm sorry... I'll stop now. The insurance thing is being worked out - but even if I end up having to pay for that portion of my doctor bills, it's going to be okay. If I trust him... He will make a way - He always does.
INSURANCE DENIED.
Wow...
That is a lovely thing to see right in the morning. Needless to say I was panicked by the amount owed and honestly I have never had to deal with anything like this before. (Thank goodness it was only for the last two doctor visits and not the entire time that I have gone - that would have been an astronomical amount of money that I don't have. Haha. My life people... *facepalm* Okay this one is on me though because yesterday I was thinking "Wow! my life is so calm! No major catastrophe has happened lately..." I was just due for something to come up. haha.)
Immediately as I read those words it was like the Holy Spirit whispered to me "Do you trust me?" - my response was probably not the best "Yes! What else can I do?" Then this question hit me, if there was another option would I trust God? and I think that the answer is no.
Isn't that sad?! I prance around saying all the time "I trust you God! I trust you!" But when it really comes down to the moments in life where our trust in God is put to the test - I would rather do what I can do in my limited human ability than trust God. That thought makes me sad, because I don't want to be like that. I want to trust God with everything - to give him my whole life and never pick it up again -but I can't.
In my limited ability I am unable to trust the God that I love. uh. I feel like someone punched me in the stomach. If I could have anything - or do anything, what I would want is to be perfect. That I could walk in a way that always pleased the Lord and that I could constantly do what is right. Because I am constantly reminded about my frailty and my inability to do anything good or right. Ah!!! It just makes me crazy sometimes!
I'm sorry... I'll stop now. The insurance thing is being worked out - but even if I end up having to pay for that portion of my doctor bills, it's going to be okay. If I trust him... He will make a way - He always does.
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