frustrated today... blah :(

I am frustrated this morning. It seems really silly that I could have written something so beautiful like Loved and feel the way I am feeling right now. I am upset by the way that some people have treated me. I have forgiven them but right at this moment I am upset at the Lord. Because I wanted to get upset and angry and tell a bunch of people what they did to me and he said...

"No, Charissa."

But why?? It's true what they said to me and how they treated me disrespectfully. Why shouldn't I tell someone? This is the answer.

"Because as a child of God, my child I have called you to forgive. I have called you to be respectful. I have called you to not be ruled by your emotions. Give it to me and I will help you understand why this is happening. I'll help you see past what they are saying into how they are feeling what is going on behind the look they gave you. Let's get one thing straight - it isn't because this morning they saw your face. It isn't because they hate you or want to viciously destroy you. Don't believe those lies. My love don't believe those lies."  

So yeah.... Guys it's hard to follow God. It's hard to submit to his authority even when I know he's right. It's hard to take the blame and be forgiving. It's hard to not want to just give up and lie down, to say if their not trying neither will I. It's hard to be humbled. And honestly I don't want it! I don't want it at all.... I wish that I could pass this duty off to someone else. UGH!

But since I can't, Jesus I'm willing to follow you and be respectful. I'm willing to follow you and take the blame. I'm willing to follow you and give this over to you. I'm so sorry that I have such a bad attitude. Please help me.

Thanks for listening internet.... :) I appreciate it!